the hair story.

two weeks ago i had long, messy, blonde hair. it covered my shoulders & my bangs were swoopy & lovely. it curled on hot sticky days and was more often than not a mess of wave & sun bleached wisps. i loved my hair. i loved the way it had an indie, messy, relaxed look. i liked that i could pull it up when my neck was hot & i could straighten it on special occasions. i was complimented on it, it was very much a part of me & i had no intentions of changing that.

while lying in bed one night chatting with two girls from the office we started tossing around the idea of pixie cuts. pixie cuts? cutting off my long hair? i seriously considered it, became terrified & pushed it out of my mind.

pushed out of my mind until the next day when we packed ourselves into a car, went to the local grocery store & bought scissors.

back at camp, four of us then gathered in a circle, fingers entwined & gave our hair to God. our hair was what defined our beauty, what made us feel good, what we held onto. wanting God to define our beauty, we gave it up & asked God to help us see ourselves through his eyes. terrifying.

one by one we pulled our hair into pony tails & cut them off.

i felt raw & exposed & funny & even ugly. but then God told me that he made me & that I could rock short hair. so i have. i wear headbands everyday & can actually pull of berets & hats. it takes me about 2 minutes to wet, wash, condition & rinse. my neck is never hot & i am learning to like the short hair.

there are days i hate it. there are days i want to get a white girl weave & days i wish i had never done it but i know God shines through this. & i know i am a stronger person because i am being defined by me & nothing else.

so long hair, it was fun.

I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
[inda.arie - i am not my hair]